WordPress was just getting a bit boring. How sad was it about Micheal Jackson dear friends?

Well as I drink my cup of tea, this generally cold night, I thought I should prehaps alert you to my twitter account?

Yes, not many of you have it. Yes, most people think it’s lame. I however, find it rather entertaining. =]

So if you have it, mine is: www.twitter.com/kellyycrumpets

Feel free to follow me, on my not so awsome adventures, and have a chat =]

So last post for this site.

Thanks everyone. =]

The boy most of my veiwers know as “Ryley”… well that is the end of that chapter in my life. And all I have to say about it is that I wish I hadn’t of done some things and said some things, but I ruined it and I cannot change it so, yes I regret most things that happened between us, but whats done is done, and cannot be undone.

As this year progresses I find myself in even more stress than ever before, and it seems that my writing can no longer be a stress reliever as it consumes most of my time.

To be honest, I feel alone. And although I have loving Oliver, Ash,Taleag and Jess beside me,  I feel as if there is no one.
I know…Im emo right?

2. Had to work

3.  Had Ashleigh Over

4. Cried

5.  Watched Titanic

6. Read Before I Die

7.  Told someone I loved them and meant it

8. Ended that relationship.

9.  Played Sims

10. Texted People

11. Slept

12.  Went for a walk

13. Watched TV

14. Talked on the Phone

15. Had arguments

16. Webcamed with people

17.  Had a shower

18. Straightened my hair.

19. Listened to music

20.  Got asked out and said no.

21.  Had a D & M with a person

2.  13 Reasons Why

3. Harry Potter Series

4. Before I Die

5. Twilight Series-

6.  On the Jellicoe Road

7.   Love You T(w)o

8. Kill The Possum

9. Just Listen

10. Looking for Alabrandi

11. Saving Franchesca

12. The Host

13.  Boy in the Striped Pajama’s

14.  Heart Shaped Box

15. Three Girls and their Brother

16. Jessica

17. The Beetle and the Bard

18. Enduring Love

19.  Matilda

20. Atonment 

21.  Finikinn Rock

2. These Confusions- Fatis Valour

3. Dark on  Fire- Turin Brakes

4.  All I Need -Stu Larsen

5.  One Two Step- Ciara

6. Paper Planes- M.I.A.

7.  Insurance?- The Higher

8.  Jai Ho- Pussycat Dolls

9. Kids- MGMT

10. Never Tear Us Apart- INXS

11.  Remembering Sunday- All Time Low

12. The Scientist – Coldplay

13. Sexy Ladies- Justin Timberlake

14. Signs ( Acoustic)- Bloc Party

15.  Stab My Back- All American Rejects

16. Tears Don’t Fall- Bullet for My Valentine

17. Stripper- Soho Dolls

18. Unbeautiful- Lesly Roy

19.  Vindicated- Dashboard Confessional

20. Wasted- Cartel

21. Why do you Exhale So Heavily- Fatis Valour

2. Harry Potter(s)

3. Sex and The City

4. Twilight

5. James Bond Casino Royale

6. Mean Girls

7.  P.S I love you

8. Titanic

9.  Enduring Love

10. Dirty Dancing

11. Pretty In Pink

12. Cadet Valentine (just cause its so stupid!)

13.  The Other Bolyen Girl

14. La Vie en Rose

15.  17 Again

16. Super Bad

17. Billy Madison

18.  The Notebook

19. Walk the Line

20.  Thirteen

21.  December Boys

2. If I have kids, will they be as annoying as me?

3. Will “One Day” ever come?

4. Will I ever learn to let go of my friends and that boy?

5.Will I ever accept death as a good thing?

6.  Will I ever get married?

7. Will it be to that person?

8. Will I ever stop loving mac and cheese?

9. Why is it that our eyes can ask the questions we fear to say?

10. Why is that us as humans are so selfish?

11. Why are there different religions?

12. Why is that we hurt from rejection?

13.  Why do most girls care about how they look?

14. How is it that sex is made out to be a disgusting thing to talk about?

15.  Will I ever own my house in the country with a porch swing?

16. If I go to heaven will HE rejoice there with me?

17.  Will  I ever figure out lifes purpose?

18. In my generation will there be flying cars and robots?

19. Will I find the man that accepts me?

20. Will I ever be strong enough to deal with the pressures of life?

21. Will I ever get off my arse and get fit?

(Written in 1 Hour)

“That’s not the point of alcohol, to get drunk. It’s the taste.” That was the first thing my dad said to me in regards to drinking. Not anything along the lines of “Don’t drink and drive” or “Don’t have to much”. I guess he really isn’t a typical father. I mean, this was my first time and all; I certainly didn’t know what to expect. I couldn’t help now, after dad put the thought into my mind, but to think of its taste. I had asked others, but there answers all varied in many different directions. Some said it didn’t taste, others said it burned your insides out. To be honest, I was just glad that I could join the many of thousands of students in my school and have an opinion of my own. It was a party. Of course, I wasn’t exactly up to par on what the ‘in’ thing to wear was or anything under those circumstances. Besides, I wasn’t really one to wear a dress so short you could see everything that made me woman or that cut off at the shoulders and pushed my cleavage up as far as my neck; that and a pair of high heel shoes that any girl of my sort would have trouble walking in. No, I was in a pair of light blue, denim jeans and a yellow, white and grey horizontal striped, V neck sweater; and a pair of converse. I could hear the thumping music from a street away; my handbag suddenly started to feel heavy. I stood and contemplated for a while, asking myself whether this was a good decision and wether now would be a good time to turn back. My curiosity got the better of me, as I found myself walking slowly towards the “party” house. I walked to an already open front door, and was greeted by many drunk, over-stimulated, horny friends. Although at this point, they had lost themselves, so a better term would be acquaintances. I took the small pack of substances from my bag and placed them in the esky with everyone else’s, and set off in search of fun- without it. I’m surprised I could hear myself think over the music. I made my way through the smoke filled clouds, holding my breath the whole way; past the lustful sinners on the fence, till I finally reached the clothesline where I found people I knew. And there I saw it; Jarred pressed up against the wall, with a girl in between. His hands were reaching up under her dress, his face buried in her chest, as she giggled and moaned at every touch he made. My stomach turned, and my heart repeatedly stabbed its self each time I looked. Its not something I wanted too look at, but its not as though its one of those easy things to turn your back on either; a cryptic illusion. So many thoughts and questions roam your mind, and your not completely satisfied until there all answered and the illusion finally makes sense to you. I finally chocked up the courage to turn away, running into someone who ended up spilling there toxic concoctions all over my sweater. I took the rest of the drink from the persons hand and skulled. The taste…It burned. It wasn’t a bad burn, it was good. It took away all the other pain away, it was better than self harm. I could now see why people could live off this stuff and this only. It takes away the pain and all your worries. You feel free from realities tight grip. I threw the bottle to the ground, watching the glass smashing around my feet. “My heart…” I thought to myself metaphorically. I pushed past the person and grabbed countless bottles out of the esky and walked back out through the already open front door. I walked. I didn’t have a destination; I just walked. I reached a park of the sorts. How far away was I from the party? Who knew? I took a seat on the swing, letting all but one bottle, fall gently in the sand. I unscrewed the lid and took another swig. The burning again… it felt…there was no word for how it felt. I leaned back in the swing, twisting and turning, laughing for no reason at all. Various mixtures later, I could see a figure walking towards me. Startled and drunk, I fell off the swing into the yellow dirt. It was Jarred. The happy emotions left me, soon replaced with anger and jealousy. No words were spoken, only stares that pierced one and other for what felt like eternity. I had no courage to force the words from my throat. Instead I picked up a bottle and threw it at him. It still felt good, even though I missed. I must have passed out. I now lie awake on a park bench; Jared’s knee under my head, his lips gently kissing my forehead. Fate would only determine what happens next.

when your mind only thinks of one.

As he roams your tethered ends

your eyes begin to dance

with simple illustrations of someone else.

As he places kisses lightly on your shoulders

you cry out to the dream world, 

hoping for something better.

Whether they be filled with lust or love, it did not matter.

One last night of clear pictures.

 Their hands lace

breathing the final moments.

He slides her dress down;

Her fingertips trace his chest.

She kisses his forehead, his lips, his eyes

and with a tear streaked sigh

they deny the world

one last time.